There are thousands of magical, historic, and breathtaking attractions in the Big Apple, and to the embarrassment of many New Yorkers, nearly as many stupid, tacky, and ridiculous ones.Frankly, I think it's time I force myself to appreciate some of the latter variety. And so this week, I am writing to a few of New York City's most popular tourist traps, asking that they let me experience their special brand of city-specific entertainment for free.
The first one to receive a letter will be Mars 2112, a futuristic outer-space-themed Times Square restaurant that is "guaranteed to stimulate travelers' imagination and tantalize each of their five known senses -- while awakening the sixth!"*
I once snuck into the bar of Mars 2112, and found that the only sense to be tantalized was the one that wants the weird guy with the ponytail to stop talking to me.
Hopefully, Mars 2112 will give me a second chance to experience their orbital shifts, sans men with ponytails.
*Please note that the awkward phrasing is theirs, not mine.
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