The Week Of Asking For Toilet Paper And Toothpaste: Letter to Green Forest

Today's Letter:

Dear Green Forest:

I don't know how you do it. But somehow, you manage to produce the softest toilet tissue made from recycled post-consumer paper in the business.

When I tell my friends how much I love your product, a lot of them say, "How can you use recycled toilet paper? It feels like sandpaper!"

Obviously, there is a huge difference between sandpaper and the soft, fluffy squares of post-consumer sanitary goodness that you make.

"Have you wiped your rectal area with sandpaper?" I ask them. "Really wiped it good?"

Unless they are into certain kinds of BDSM play, most of them have not.

Anyhoo, this is just my way of saying I really like your toilet paper.

Keep up the good work!